Food review: Lamb, chicken, and split pea platter

Restaurant: Waziema (San Francisco)
Food description: Ethiopian dish with split pea sauce and lamb and chicken cubes sauteed with ginger, garlic, and onion; served with sides of collard greens, potato and carrot stew, salad, and injera bread
Food rating: 6.5 out of 10
Times ordered: 1

Since I'm not going to rate each individual components of the platter, I'll address each one and rate everything as a whole. Basically, if you're not picky and in the mood for something hearty and satisfying (and cheap), look no further. In comparison to other Ethiopian food, I liked the Blue Nile in Berkeley, which apparently is no more. Anyway, of all the traditional things we could've ordered, we chose 2 of their non-stew dishes, which was an interesting experiment, but maybe not the smartest idea. The chicken was prepared like the lamb, grilled with onions, and were both very flavorful, but waaay too dry! It helped to mix in some of the split pea sauce, but even that was kinda thick. The lamb, although dry, tasted good enough to order again, and the chicken I never need to have again. The split pea is something a friend recommended, something I wouldn't normally order, and turned out to be delicious. I have no clue what kind of peas they use (they're yellow), but they taste starchier and nuttier than green peas, sort of like garbanzo beans. I'll be ordering that again for sure. The potato stew was rather plain and didn't have much flavor, and the collard greens tasted like collard greens. The green salad in the center served it's purpose--to refresh the palate in between bites--and nothing more. The injera bread was tasty, but seemed slightly more sour and thicker than usual, but didn't really bother me. The real enjoyment of these types of dishes is getting to dig into it with a bunch of people and mushing everything together and not really caring so much. I will freak out though, if I catch you using your left hand to eat!!

Food review: Fried chicken

Restaurant: Firefly (San Francisco)
Food description: The "Fried Chicken of Your Dreams" with mashed potatoes & gravy,
peas & carrots and a "damn fine buttermilk biscuit"
Food rating: 8.5 out of 10
Times ordered: 1

When I had a craving for some fried chicken I started Yelping, and this is what I found: Fried Chicken of Your Dreams. When Cathy backed up the Yelper's, I had to give it a shot. I mean, "of your dreams" is a pretty serious promise, but the verdict is.... Firefly delivers. The skin was so tasty: perfectly crisp, not overbreaded or too greasy, and full of flavor. The chicken itself was so juicy and tender, it just melted in your mouth! Mmmmmmm... I would definitely recommend it. I basically rated this dish solely on the chicken. The carrots and peas were pretty basic--I felt like I could cook up some carrots and peas that I found in the frozen section in Safeway and get the same result--in fact I think that's maybe what they did. The mashed potatoes were ok but I feel like they could have (should have) been better, after a little bit they hardened up and stuck together and weren't very "mashy" anymore. Also they really weren't light and fluffy like any good heap of mashed potatoes to start with, and I felt like the mash should have been on par with the chicken, but the gravy was pretty damn good. The muffin / thing (biscuit?) was actually friggin awesome, served with heated butter and honey on the side, super light and fluffy but became dense in your mouth in that sticky dough yummy way. I would have given the dish a 9 if the whole was on par with the chicken and muffin, but it scored an 8.5 based mostly on the chicken and not the fillers.

Food review: Buffalo chicken tenders

Restaurant: Max's (San Francisco)
Food description: Boneless chicken breast tenders with buffalo wing sauce
Food rating: 3 out of 10
Times ordered: 1

I really don't know why I ordered these when what I really wanted were buffalo wings. I was craving buffalo wings but instead I got these, partially because I don't like getting my fingers messy and these are boneless and partially because I wanted a healthy alternative to buffalo wings. Sadly for me, by going healthier I gave up flavor and enjoyment of my meal. These are not very good at all, I wouldn't say inedible but I definitely did not enjoy eating them. The chicken came in sizable chunks of white meat with a heavy coating of powder which I guess was supposed to be the "buffalo" part of the dish. The tenders were really dry in the middle and overspiced with buffalo seasoning on the outside. The sauce they came with was overwhelming and almost too sour and tangy. I ate them without being miserable but this definitely is not a dish I'd order again. My boyfriend drunkenly polished off what I didn't eat so I'll give them a 3.

Food review: Penne guillamo

Restaurant: Squat and Gobble (Fillmore St., San Francisco)
Food description: Penne with grilled chicken, sun dried tomatoes, onions, and artichokes in a pesto cream sauce topped with shaved parmesan and parsley
Food rating: 7 out of 10
Times ordered: 5

This dish is on my "Great Pasta Under $10" list. It's nothing gourmet, but it hits the spot when I'm in the mood for a simple pasta that's tasty but won't break the bank. This recipe normally includes chicken apple sausage and black olives, but the dish is better off without them. Same with the artichokes (as much as I luv 'em), they over tang-ify the dish when combined with the sun dried tomatoes. I know I've completely butchered the chef's original vision, but it's ok, because I doubt the chef had much of a vision anyway (it's a sidewalk cafe). So the best part of this pasta is the pesto cream sauce. I'm sensitive to garlic, and though it's pretty heavy on the garlic, it's done in a way that enhances, not overpowers. The cream helps mellow out the garlic, and it's not so much cream that you can't get out of your chair afterwards. The sun dried tomatoes add the citrus element that cuts the heaviness of the sauce, and the onions are subtle
and tender. As far as the chicken goes, it's usually pretty good, but sometimes can be bland. This time it was great: fresh off the grill, tender, and marinated nicely. By the way, it's a huge portion (enough for dinner), so be prepared if you're ordering this for lunch because you'll be tempted to eat it all (but trust me, you won't). I haven't tried any of their other pastas, but probably would after my positive experience with this dish. It's a straightforward pasta that's a great alternative to people like me who are sick of having burgers, burritos, and pizza.

Food review: Honey-lime chicken and avocado sandwich

Restaurant: Boxed Foods Company (San Francisco)
Food description: Honey-lime marinated grilled chicken breast on focaccia bread with tomato, red onion, haas avocado, garlic-citrus mayo and greens
Food rating: 7 out of 10
Times ordered: 3

Boxed Foods Company is one of my favorite sandwich places in the city mainly because they use quality seasonal ingredients and showcase them at their peak. This is one of my favorite sandwiches from them, I'm not the biggest fan of chicken usually but I find the chicken in this sandwich moist, flavorful and delicious. Boxed Foods has produce delivered fresh every day and you can tell in the sandwiches, the tomatoes were delicious and freshly crisp, perfectly at their peak, the red onion was sweet and didn't overpower the sandwich. They also used fresh baked breads and the focaccia was delicious, firm but not hard and complemented the delicate flavors of the chicken and tomato perfectly. My one gripe with the sandwich was the avocado, I know it's not peak avocado season so this may be why but the sandwich just did not have very much avocado and the little it had was mushy and flavorless. I kind of wish they had left it out instead of putting it in even if it is in the sandwich description. And as a bonus, the greens that came with the sandwich are always dependably delicious. I highly recommend this sandwich especially if you are a fan of chicken.

Food review: Chicken crepe

Restaurant: The Butler and the Chef Bistro (San Francisco)
Food description: Buckwheat crêpe with chicken and emmenthal cheese in a dijon white wine sauce, side of baby spinach salad
Food rating: 8 out of 10
Times ordered: 1

No, I haven't gone anorexic on y'all--been braving a rough week of bronchitis and pink eye--and god, I could use some good food right about now. But first, lemme catch up a bit... So I'll start by mentioning that the menu didn't really do this chicken crepe much justice. They didn't even give it a fancy little French name, like the La Parisienne crêpe right above it. Though it may have sounded drab, it tasted the complete opposite and I'm soooo glad I stumbled upon this hidden gem. I kinda gave up on crepes after everyone and their mom started offering them and the quality was just whatever. I pretty much forgot about how good crepes can be, until this crepe thankfully reminded me. You'd think there's not that much you can with just chicken, cheese, mustard, and a crepe, but seriously, they did a terrific job and has caused me to reevaluate my current postion on crepes overall. I'll start with the crepe itself: it was made from buckwheat and was a lot less sweet than Americanized crepes. I'm not a big fan of the sweet-and-salty mixing up, so I liked that it was hardly sweet. The buckwheat was very strong and flavorful and added a robustness to the overall dish that was a nice change from the usual bleached flour crepe. The crepe was razor thin but still strong enough that it didn't fall apart under the weight of the chicken. It was also slightly toasted, which added a nice crunchy texture, yet was still pliable. The chicken, which I was half expecting to be generic and dry, was smothered in melted cheese and had the perfect amount of dijon to add zing without overpowering the dish (but you have to like dijon to enjoy this dish). The ratio of ingredients was perfectly balanced and blended together to form a very sophisticated tasting crepe. The cheese was a great selection and was light, so you didn't feel all weighed down after eating it. The spinach salad was a nice break between bites, but there was sooo much of it. Plus I tend to avoid the salads here, after being served one with a dead housefly in it on a previous visit (and not even receiving a discount!). But salads aside, this crepe was a winner and I'm using it as my benchmark for what constitutes a good crepe.

Food review: Farfalle pasta

Restaurant: Caffe Museo (San Francisco)
Food description: Bowtie pasta with smoked chicken, tomatoes, caramelized red onions, and red pepper flakes topped with grated parmesan and toasted bread crumbs
Food rating: 6.5 out of 10
Times ordered: 1

The only thing I remember about this pasta is that my mouth was on fire for a good 10 minutes after eating it. When the menu description casually mentioned red pepper flakes, what it meant to say was that someone was going to put an entire red chile pepper into your pasta. Ok, so maybe I exaggerate a bit, but it was on the heat level more akin to Mexican or Thai spicy, which in pasta terms translates to spicy-as-hell. What's weird is that at first it wasn't all that hot, but it was like a slow burn that crept up on you and then hit you good after a few minutes. Then your nose starts running and eyes start tearing and you're constantly dabbing it with a napkin while trying to have a conversation. This makes it not only uncomfortable to eat, but unpleasant for whomever happens to be watching you attempt to eat it. But I've digressed...Spiciness and all aside, I actually enjoyed the dish for what it was. There were a few areas that needed improvement, particularly the canned tomato factor. I know, what do you expect from a museum cafe, but they were noticeably canned. Aluminum cans = Alzheimer's disease, last time I checked. Anyway, as far as the smoked chicken goes, it was a little over-cured if you know what I mean. You know, when the texture starts to resemble ham and is overly salty (even for me). I also don't really care for caramelized red onions so much, but I guess it added some flavor. I did eat all of the pasta, which is typically a good sign, but it was painful with all the spiciness in the end. I might order it again some day if I'm feeling masochistic.

Food review: Chicken piccata

Restaurant: Gordon Biersch (San Francisco)
Food description: Breaded chicken cutlets sauteed and topped with white wine lemon butter sauce and capers served with a side of jasmine rice and vegetables
Food rating: 6.5 out of 10
Times ordered: 1

The chicken was lightly breaded and tender, the sauce had good light flavor, but I expected a little more, and the capers were tasty. I would say it was "a step above good bar food", but doesn't pass as fine cuisine, and it doesn't stand out as something to remember. The veggies really weren't very good - no flavor or a kind of weird non-vegetable flavor, and the rice as a filler was just too plain - they should have used something else. This was my first time on this dish so I would order it again to compare, but if it's the same, I probably wouldn't order it again.

Food review: Thai chicken wings

Restaurant: Thai House Express (Larkin St., San Francisco)
Food description: Thai chicken wings deep fried with dipping sauce
Food rating: 4 out of 10
Times ordered: 1

I'm always up for trying wings at different places, but I would not order the wings from Thai House Express again. They were not my style at all-no breading, no crispiness, and no sauce (aside from the dipping sauce which I didn't like). The skin was really thick and fatty and I had to pick all of it off. Once I got to the meat, it didn't really have any flavor and overall it didn't really seem like they put any effort into this dish at all. At least there's other things on the menu worth trying, such as the tom kha gai soup or the Thai House beef. Stick with what you know here...

Food review: Pad see ew (chicken)

Restaurant: Thai House Express (Larkin St., San Francisco)
Food description: Thai pan-fried rice noodles with chicken, scallions, and sweet soy sauce
Food rating: 7 out of 10
Times ordered: 1

I'm definitely not the authority on Thai food, since I don't really like curry or overly sweet dishes. I've had pad see ew at several other places and I have to say the kind at Thai House Express is pretty good. One thing I hate is overly greasy dishes, and the pad see ew was definitely not drenched in oil (unlike the pad see ew from Osha) . It's a nice introductory dish if you're not very daring, but perhaps a little boring for those looking for a bolder flavor. There was only little bits of chicken and should have been more generous in the meat department. But as pad see ew goes, Thai House Express is a top choice.

Food review: Buffalo wings

Restaurant: Burgermeister (Church St, San Francisco)
Food description: Tangy spicy buffalo-style chicken wings
Food rating: 5 out of 10
Times ordered: 10+

I have to admit, these wings are not very good at all. I think I've even gotten food poisoning from them once. Why have I ordered them so many times, you ask? Well being from the east coast, a girl's gotta have her buffalo wings regularly, and these were the closest I could find (near my house at least). I've come to the conclusion that San Francisco doesn't have a clue what real buffalo wings are supposed to be. This puts me in desparate situations where I have to settle for mediocrity and eat wings at Burgermeister cuz at least they've got the sauce kinda close. What I hate about their wings is that they taste old, they're way over-fried and dried out, and some wings don't look like wings at all. But on Mondays they're half price (like $3 for a dozen), so it ends up being 3 bucks well spent.

Food review: Smoky mountain wings

Restaurant: Memphis Minnies (San Francisco)
Food description: Tangy smoked bbq wings
Food rating: 5.5 out of 10
Times ordered: 1

So I've been on an endless quest to find the best wings known to man, and figured I'd give the barbeque experts at Memphis Minnies a shot. Trust me, I've eaten a LOT of wings in my lifetime and these didn't come close to being my favorite. These wings couldn't decide whether they wanted to be sweet, spicy, or tangy, and quite frankly neither could I. The flavors kept pulling me in every direction, and at the end of the day, it wasn't all that enjoyable. The chicken itself was fresh and juicy, but there wasn't much flavor to it-all the flavor was on the outside skin. And since the chicken wasn't smoked the way that I'd hoped, I ended up doing what I do to all wings with soggy skin: picking it off. Very unfortunate indeed. Not to mention they were completely drenched with sauce. So all in all, I'd say nay to having these wings again.